Sexual Tension, Feminism, Rihanna, and the Boob Song.

I want to clarify my personal stance on sexism before I get into the boob song. I believe that women should have a right to control their own bodies, first and foremost. If that includes abortion, birth control, or the lack of both, then I support it. I believe women should be making the equivalent wage for the equivalent job as men. I do not think genitalia should denote worth or ability, but rather merit and hard work. I also believe that women have fallen prey to their own nature that has been exacerbated and promoted by men. Meaning that they get bitchy and take it out on each other, and this, sadly, includes feminists.

A clear example of this is the idea that a woman is somehow less than valuable…or less womany…if they do not work, raise kids, work some more, fuck like a porn star, have a billion friends for whom they are always always there for, and cook, clean, and generally run the entire world on less than minimum wage. Most significant, here, is the idea of an at home mom. We suck, according to American society. Really, I don’t know how many times I’ve heard…from women…that I should work, that I suck balls, that I am pandering to a sexist idea. So, yeah, now would be a great time for me to work. My kids are grown, my life is my own. Working on it, no pun intended. And while I do that, I also write. Also a fucked up choice according to many feminists. Unless I’m putting out pamphlets on how badly men have fucked up my life.

THIS PISSES ME OFF.

First, if we are to embrace the true attitude of what I think feminism means, then we need to support ALL women, not just the ones that we pick and choose. This includes the women who had no choice but to stay home and raise their children as well as the women who CHOSE/CHOOSE to do so. There is not a damn thing wrong with instilling your own children with your beliefs, your values, and your love. Just as there is nothing wrong with doing it the other way, and working your tail off either because you have to or because you want to. I could go into an entire bitch-fest about men and how they suck and how they’ve ruined my life, but that’s a pile of horseshit. I AM RESPONSIBLE. Are there assholes out there? Hell yes. Are there men out there, specifically in our government, that I’d like to deny health care to  for a month or two so they could see what it was like. Fuck yeah. But the only person that can ruin my life is me.

Which brings me to Seth MacFarlane. He’s gotten a lot of heat for a couple of things he did at the Oscars, and I have opinions. Probably too many, but I have them and a blog is for sharing, right?

Regarding Rihanna, the complaint is that women go back to their abusers, that it’s never funny, and that he shouldn’t joke about it. I can see that. She is an abused woman, and as one who got out of a domestic violence situation, I realize it can be extremely difficult, especially if you so desperately want it to get better, and even more difficult when you have kids. Domestic violence is not funny.

MacFarlane joked,”This is the story of a man fighting to get back his woman, who’s been subjected to unthinkable violence. Or as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it, a date movie.”

This does border on the irreverent, but let me explain why I think this joke is more commentary than offensive material. First, all women who are in domestic violence situations should know better…don’t get your panties in a twist, I am not done…but that doesn’t matter a rats ass when emotions and feelings of inadequacy are involved. There are a great many things we should know better than, and staying in an abusive relationship is high on that list. But we’re people and we fuck up, and we fuck ourselves over quite a lot.
What I would like to say here, and it’s not really in defense of a joke that may or may not be tasteless and insensitive, is that domestic violence has taken a back seat to a lot of other crap that has been going on in the world lately. With the economy in shambles, women getting shafted a million different ways to Sunday, and the mass murders, domestic violence has been swept under the rug. MacFarlane doesn’t strike me as a woman beater…although who knows, admittedly…but he does strike me as a comedian who says shit that no one else will even touch. Rihanna has gone back to her abuser. The question we should ask is why? What makes her feel that she cannot live without an abusive lying piece of shit that treats her like a piece of garbage? And then somebody should go kick the shit out of Chris Brown. Yes. I’m advocating violence. MacFarlane may have pissed off a lot of people, but he’s gotten them talking. And talking about domestic violence is ALWAYS preferable to the alternative, which just leads to more abuse and more secrets and lies.

And the boob song. Really? This offends people. It was funny. Straight men love boobs. I’m a straight woman and I like to look at boobs occasionally…I like to compare and try to figure out which ones are real…and who the Hell knew that we’ve seen Kate Winslet’s breasts so damn many times? This is symptomatic of a society that is so afraid of a part of a woman’s anatomy that they will freak out if they see a pasty covered nipple, or a person nursing in public. And that’s the point, right? If you advocate public nursing of babies…which I do…then you advocate men being silly over the sight of said breast.
They aren’t the Spaghetti Monster. They are not going to eat you alive, they are not going to turn your pre-pubescent boys (Or girls) into sexual perverts ready to rape and pillage…the hormones do that without boobs…and they certainly are not going to rule the world. Let me tell you, if that were the case, my girls and I would be well set up on a small tropical island all by ourselves.

Boobs are not the enemy and they are not offensive. We should talk about them with pleasure, and Seth MacFarlane made it silly and ok to like to look at boobs. War is offensive. Fucking poverty is offensive. Assholes telling me I can’t have birth control is offensive while they take their stupid blue pill so that they can make more babies that they don’t want to pay for, ever, is highly offensive. Boobs are not.

Whether or not you like MacFarlane, people are talking. I’m not sure who would offend less people as an Oscar host. Maybe one of those redneck guys, and I hate them so the majority of America would probably love it. Or the guy with the puppets, who I find so racist I want to puke. But none of them have boobs so they’re ok, right?

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